Jagex Saddle Colts

Eternit Colts - 1 - 6 Jagex FC

Henniker Heaton (1), Dominic (2), Piers (1), Winfield (1), Spanish Dave (1)

Fardell, Pickett, Henniker-Heaton, Scottish Dave, Spanish Dave, Winfield, Brooks, Coles, Morgan, Lovell - Gaz (Late), Dominic (Also Late)

This week, we played against a team who seem to have a letter missing from their keyboard. Eternit isn't a word chaps, and if you meant it as a made up word, it's rubbish.

Late September also offered us the delights of playing away somewhere in the vicinity of Meldreth. Aside from being a bugger to find, and having no changing room (so we got dressed on the grass, whilst being eyed up by some old men - good thing I wore my Calvins), it also featured a sloping rock solid pitch that was covered in dandelions, grand canyon like fissures and weeds.

Sporting a new look team, Jagex were hopeful of putting in a decent performance. We had been very close to calling the game off until quite late on Friday, but thankfully Gaz, Dominic and Alex Pickett stepped in to give us a fighting chance of putting the fixture on, and indeed winning. Gaz still managed to be late, so we started with 10 men.

We started under the cosh a bit, with a slightly experimental 3 man back line. The defence of Pickett, Scottish Dave, and Jens worked hard, with some support from the centre of the park to stem the initial tide. Thankfully most of the initial efforts were long range and wayward, one went straight into Fardell's ample mid-riff, and Scottish Dave was on hand to murder any player foolish enough to try and skip through defence.

Gaz then turned up (I think we need to buy him a sat nav), Dom jumped on, and Spanish Dave took flag waving duties. This saw us revert to a 4-4-2 with Pickett and Brooks taking up the left and right back positions respectively. The team suddenly had better balance, and the early pressure let up. Some good work from Dom and Pickett on the left saw an early attack, skip across the face of the goal, but no one was on hand to poke home, although Coles made a valiant effort to try and get there. Winfield was winning challenges in the middle, and Piers was playing where he liked, left, right and middle - and tracking back when the mood took him. :-)

Up front, Pete was getting the rough house treatment from the centre backs, which seems to be his lot in life lately. He's not a man you would normally pick on. Eventually we won a corner, it was delivered from the right, and with four men trying to simultaneously mark/assault Pete - Jens was free to leap majestically and plant a header home.

With our tails up Jagex attacked effectively, with Dominic and Piers having the run of the play, with players switching position more regularly than normal to help confound their markers. Pickett was having a great game at left back, help driving the game forward from the back and play it out from goal kicks. Gaz was also helping anchor the midfield effectively with Winfield, giving us two decent ball winning centre midfielders, allowing other players freedom to roam. Pete was winning stuff in the air, despite the frequent beatings. 

After a wave of attacks, the ball broke to the right and fell to Dom. He skipped past the recovering defender and let fly, the ball hit the post, bounced up, and the spin took it over the line. 

There was time for Jagex to concede a free kick late in the half near the centre, the ball was chipped in, just over the defenders, and with Fardell statuesque, the ball was directed onto the crossbar and out. Half time 0-2 to the Jagex. Sadly there were no oranges or bananas, but Pete the General gave us a reasonable team talk.

The wind was against us in the second half, which meant a little more pressure. The game struggled to get back up the pace of the first half, and the shape was somewhat confusing for much of the first 10 minutes. Piers was basically annoying the opposition so much with his little skippy runs, blond hair and cheery demeanor that eventually one of them just booted him over, giving us a free kick 25 yards out. Piers curled it over the wall and straight at the keeper. The keeper then did his best Fardell impression, and shovelled the ball straight into his own net. I should mention at this point that the keeper was wearing some of those Edgar Davids/Daniel Vettori style glasses - although from the looks of his handling, he may have to check his prescription.

Eternit heads then dropped a bit. Some good challenges in the centre from Winfield, a handy little run from Coles and some overlapping from Brooks are all that I recall from this period. Pete was still trying his best to limp around, having hurt his ankle for the umpteenth time. Eternit were still taking their frustrations out on poor Pete. Jens was winning all the balls in the air at this point, as route one proved the only Eternit attack route. Scottish Dave was still supporting well, dovetailing nicely with Jens - one big, one quick.

Our fourth goal I believe came from Dom. The ball broke right, I think from Gaz, and the keeper came out but stopped. Dom then slotted it over his head and into the goal with a lob-cum-shot. Shortly thereafter, Spanish Dave took advantage of the keeper dawdling on the edge of his area, robbed him, rounded him and slotted into the empty net. The crushing nature of the scoreline was all too much for the Eternit Captain, who haired around into every challenge, crunching Jens and nearly poleaxing Alex Pickett, before taking himself off.

They eventually put some pressure back on the cards. Brooks did well on the right shut down a couple of attackers, and the midfield helped out repeatedly. 

The pressure saw a couple of corners conceded, each of which were either cleared or claimed by Fardell, one Jens clearing header missed his own goal by millimetres, and Fardell made his first genuine save of the season, plunging to his left to push the ball wide. Eventually the little bit of pressure showed, with Scottish Dave dispossessing one of their players with a slide tackle, the player then theatrically fell over some grass that was near Dave, and the ref pointed to the spot for a penalty, and then apologised.

The Eternit skipper sent Fardell the wrong way for a consolation. Shortly after the re-start, Piers went on one of those runs where he confounds everyone, found himself through and then sent an incredible reverse pass to Winfield, who poked past the keeper. This is possibly his first goal in forever, but despite this, the celebration was muted. Maybe the next time he scores there will be fireworks and dancing girls.

The game petered out, and Jagex ran out 6-1 winners. Special mention goes to Pete, who looked like a man who'd been turned out of vodka revolution on a Saturday night by the big angry bouncer (not the little friendly one). Piers played well, Dom had a great game, and Scottish Dave put in a good shift. However the real highlight was Fardell taking almost half his own goal kicks - surely the most amazing thing we've seen on a football pitch for many a year.

Jagex Humped by Harston

Jagex FC 1 - 4 Harston Sundays

I'll be honest, I'm not going to write much in this match report, as I felt thoroughly sad after this game. Personally, I had a shocker - 2 of the goals were directly my fault, and one I really should have done better on. Still clearly in cricket mode.

Harston were a beastly team, fitter, faster and generally hungrier than Jagex this week. My key memories include:

- The Harston Sundays ginger keeper, who his team helpfully called Ginge, being the angriest man on the planet. Every year we play these chaps he seems to get more and more upset at the world around him. I assume that he loves kittens and rainbows off the football pitch, partially because he manages to get rid of all his pent up anger and frustration on the pitch each Sunday.

- Piers scoring a cracking individual effort, skipping past a few of their players, before finishing adroitly with his left.

- Fardell - oh dear, where do I start, rooted to my line, missing two deflected shots that came within millimetres of my hands, or the real cracker catching the ball then dropping it onto their striker's foot 2 yards out.

- Daz O'Neil, our own angry man, putting in some hair raising challenges to help keep the score down.

- The terrible banter in the changing rooms, involving the merits of an evening watching Heartbeart and drinking warm (warm, not hot) cocoa versus the delights of spending an evening in the place. You can imagine which gets my vote.

- Pete making a nuisance of himself upfront.

- We still don't have any new kit. The old kit is holier than a nunnery and smells of cat pee.

Next week, it will get better - don't stop thinking about tomorrow.

Jagex Cross Zebras

Jagex FC 2 - 0 Free Press Zebras

I wasn't at this game, but in the interests of trying to keep this blog up-to-date I thought a brief post would be in order. If anyone has any comments or input they would like to add, I will happily spin these into a yarn the resembles a match report.

Jagex won the first game of the season on a probably windswept Coldham's Common to give ourselves the perfect start to the season. Free Press Zebras have proven a tricky beast to tackle in the past, so trepidation would be the most likely emotion at the outset.

From what I gather of my brethren who played on the day.

Ben Walther played in goal and was something of a Rock God - 

Jens Henniker Heaton played in defence and was something of a Swedish God -

Pete Lovell played and was a different sort of God altogether - 

A laboured joke, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.

Anyway, as I have no details on the game, that's all I have for now. Anyone is welcome to comment below or chip in with additional thoughts or details.

New Season, New Drama

So, with the cricket season over, and precious little to look forward to but deteriorating weather until Christmas, here it is, new football season, and new football blog.

Over the next 9-ish months we will attempt to chronicle the, quite simply incredible, number of games we fit into a football season. The trials, the tribulations, the excitement, the sadness, and hopefully some of the social life outside of the game...

Football is less civilised than cricket, so I will say, you have been warned.

Jagex FC - 2013/2014 season - Cambridge District and Friendly League - rock on...